There's a KILLER inside of me!
Posted: Monday, June 18, 2012 by Anthony inI woke up with a smile on my face this morning leftover from Fathers Day. I thought for sure I'd have an opportunity to blog about how much a perfect God loves us, if I can be recognized as a loving father by so many, despite how flawed I am... I guess that will have to happen on a later date because this morning, while in prayer, God wiped the smile right off my face. The bible says He chastens (corrects) those whom He loves and I got a little lecture from my Heavenly Dad for something inside me that's wrong...
At first, I was excited to share what I'm about to say because I thought I'd be helping other people, but I quickly realized that He was speaking about ME! You see, there is something VERY precious to me that I have been holding onto for a LONG time! I carry it with me EVERYWHERE I go but I try my best to not let people know I have it with me. Sometimes I pretend like I hate it, but the truth is I've had it so long that I don't know how I'd feel without it. Occasionally, it even seems more important than God Himself in my life. I guess this is the reason I felt a little jealousy and agitation in the way I sensed His presence this morning.
God said, instead of nursing it and feeding it like a pet, He wants me to take a knife and offer it to Him like a bloody sacrifice in the Old Testament. What is it? IT is my pain!
We pray and pretend we want God to release us from our struggle with past hurts and mistakes, but our actions speak otherwise. Instead of taking it to the altar and stabbing it repeatedly and violently, we feed it and caress it by reminiscing over the past, harboring unforgiveness, rehearsing our mistakes, and so on.
In the Old Testament, God refused to honor Israel's sacrifices unless they presented livestock that was PRECIOUS to them. You'll periodically see the term "fatted calf" used when a sacrifice is referenced. This term denotes that the calf was well fed and well taken care of. We are constantly feeding our struggle and caring for our pain, right in the face of God! It is offensive to Him to always talk about how bad your problem is, or how much it hurts! Do you realize who in the universe you are talking to? He's GOD! There is nothing too hard for Him. He doesn't want you to keep fattening the calf when you come into His presence with prayer. He wants you to KILL it in His presence.
Stab it repeatedly by telling God how powerful He is. Cut it open by declaring that God has already provided healing and an answer to your issue. Watch it bleed out as you worship Him as a loving Dad who cares for your every need. Don't offend God by telling Him how bad your situation is, kill your situation by declaring how "bad" your God is!
The bible says in Hebrews 9:22 that without the shedding of blood there can be no remission of sin. Of
course, we understand on the grand scale of the universe that it's talking about Jesus's blood that bought forgiveness for us all. However, on a smaller scale, God is saying that your situation can't go into remission (diminution of the seriousness or intensity of disease or pain), unless YOU shed its blood. Struggle and pain are like a cancer to your mind, body, and soul. To see it go into remission, you MUST stop whining, complaining, and crying, and start stabbing, declaring, and worshipping.
As a matter of fact, sacrifices in the Old Testament were acts of worship. The time you spend researching your ex on facebook feeds your cancer. Spend that time worshipping God, and watch the cancer go into remission. The anger you feel when you're sitting around rehearsing what has been done to you causes the tumor to grow. Lift your hands and tell God you appreciate that He kept you, despite how evil they were to you. Then, watch the tumor shrink. The energy you spend worrying about how to pay your bills is malignant. Use that energy to seek God and believe He has provided for you, and see every cancerous cell totally disappear.
Despite how precious our pain has become to us, it is filthy in the sight of God. Yet, somehow, He still wants us to give it to Him and let Him give us something better in return. Isaiah 61:3 says for those of us who mourn, He'll give us a crown of beauty in exchange for our ashes, the oil of joy in exchange for our sadness, and a garment of praise in exchange for our despair.
Today, I ANTicipate a lighter spirit and a lasting peace as I sacrifice my precious pain in exchange for all that God wants to give me. I reject the bondage that comes with being reactive and I step into the freedom that accompanies proactive behavior!
Definitely needed this!