Yesterday, I decided to take the long-term "booship" candidate out to eat and to the lake. Typical of a woman, it took her so long to get ready that my afternoon plans slowly turned into an evening agenda. By the time we reached the lake the sun was starting to set (yet somehow the temperature began to rise). There seemed to be a war waging between the beauty of the calm sun-glazed water and the radiance of Ms. X's glowing skin and piercing eyes. As each work of art battled for my undivided attention, I could feel myself losing control of the situation and being swept away by the salacious atmosphere. She must have also sensed my vulnerability as she gently leaned closer and whispered "kiss me." At that point there was nothing I could do but EXACTLY what she said. This was not the first time I had kissed her but there was something different in the air that ignited once our lips touched.
It was like a scene from a movie. The sound of the waves softly caressing the shoreline seemed to correlate perfectly with the smell of her strategically placed perfume. The sight (I kept my eyes open) and taste of her freshly glossed lips pressed against mine was almost as exciting as how exhilarated my whole body felt, not just my lips. There was NOTHING I wanted in that moment more than her. The passion was thick and heavy enough to be called "Precious" lol. However, it all came to an abrubt end because I suddenly pulled away. It didn't take a dummy to realize that we were about to get into some serious trouble if things continued to progress.
As wonderful as it was to be trapped in a cage of raw passion with her, I'm convinced that is NOT the best decision I can make in my life right now. I am an EXTREMELY passionate person but the problem is I can't seem to compartmentalize it. I can really only focus my intense desire and energy on one thing at a time. I'm what many call "All or Nothing."
Years ago when I was "in love" my ONLY concern was THAT relationship. I didn't care about anything else. My job suffered, my relationship with God went to the back burner, and I even lost MYSELF in the process. Then, there was a time in my life when making money was my passion. I worked endlessly to make sure my pockets were full. Needless to say, other things in my life went lacking and ironically I ended up losing money.
Miraculously, when seeking God became my sole passion, nothing else went lacking. I know you are not supposed to put all of your eggs in one basket, but Jesus has become the exception to this rule for me. I struggle to find balance in my life and something always seems to suffer when I give it too much of my attention. I have discovered that the more passionate time I spend in His presence and seeking His will for my existence, the less time I have to spend working on the tedious details of my life. He rewards me when I passionately pursue Him by either fixing me, erasing my problems, or giving me the solution to do both. The more time I spend with Him, the more I become like Him and the better all of my relationships with people become.
Psalms 138 sums it up for me. The writer opens by declaring that he will passionately pursue God. In verse 8 he reveals that God will, in return, perfect/vindicate everything else that concerns his (the writer's) life...
You may not be as extreme as I am but your ability to divide your passion is limited. You only have so much drive and intensity; so spend it wisely. Be careful pouring all of your heart and energy into anything that is fallible. There is no guarantee that any relationship, business venture, material possession, etc will last forever or always provide fulfillment. I have decided to invest the bulk of my time and energy in improving my relationship and strengthening my connection with God. I ANTicipate that He will be the one person that my energy will never be wasted on and He will be the glue that holds the other aspects of my life together.
Amen!! Anthony that is a complete word; a ful plate of good food...God Bless you Soldier!!