I'm scum and I really don't deserve to live!

Posted: Thursday, September 23, 2010 by Anthony in
10

Call me naive but I am genuinely surprised by the media coverage and subsequent response from the general public regarding the allegations surrounding Bishop Eddie Long. I wasn't even searching for the story but found myself unable to escape the details as it seems like EVERY news station, facebook friend, and twitter follower had something to report about the bishop. Allegations and scandals occur everyday so I was not surprised by the lawsuits. What has me dumbfounded is the angry mob of "judges" in the court of public opinion that have already convicted him and sentenced him to exile from their flawless society. I have no idea whether he is guilty or not but I'm a little saddened and fearful because I do have knowledge of someone who has been involved in things a lot worse than what the bishop has been accused of. I'll avoid the temptation to speak about this evil bastard in third person and confess that "he" is me! I'm guilty! I am scum and I really don't deserve to live.

I don't even know where to begin. Most people like to start with their molestation as a child and use that as a back drop to justify their life's choices. I'll mention my three years of childhood sexual abuse just to prepare you for my first confession. I have NEVER molested a child but as a preteen I thought about it a lot, which left me feeling just as guilty as if I had actually performed the act. Later in life, once I was a fully responsible grown man, I had a girlfriend that I was sexually, verbally, and physically abusive towards. I've stolen money, used illegal drugs, attempted murder by driving drunk, told countless lies, hurt people, and the list goes on...

But here's the punchline: Those are just a FEW of the horrific things I've done and, by far, not the WORST of my offenses! My BIGGEST fault is that, after all the crap I've done, I actually had the nerve to criticize others and rejoice when they were punished and publicly embarrassed for the same things no one knew I had done!

Today I'm grateful that God, who is perfect and actually has the right to judge my imperfections, decided to send a replacement to accept my punishment. Without HIS sacrifice I wouldn't be able to hold my head up or face the relentless ridicule from people who seem to be unaware that we all deserve to pay for the crap we've done. HE became scum so we could live free from guilt and shame. ANTicipate MERCY today family! We can overcome ANYTHING with the gift God has given us in Christ!

10 comments:

  1. I don't know you personally Ant', we are friends on FB & I've watched your continued transformation. I'll follow here too.

    Old Nature VS Experiencing God

  1. Anthony says:

    Thx Fam! I'm enjoying the journey from faith to faith and glory to glory!

  1. Marquelle says:

    YOU CAN'T GET ANY DEEPER THAN THIS BOSS...BESIDES THIS BEING THE ULTIMATE TRUTH, IT WILL ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO BE REAL WITHIN THEMSELVES...SOMETIMES ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF SELF GUILT IS THE RELEASE THAT WE NEED TO MOVE ON WITH LIFE...YOU ARE BY FAR THE FIRST PERSON THAT HAS SAID IN A WHILE I DID IT IM WRONG BUT THE THOUGHTS WERE EVEN MORE WRONG....GUILTY BY MENTALITY....SMH...THANKS AGAIN

  1. Anthony says:

    Thanks Marquelle! Truth is FREEDOM!

  1. Anthony, you never cease to amaze me. In the time I've known you, I truly can say your ministry--whether musical or now written--has blessed me. You're absolutely right in saying we all have sinned and are far from being eligible to judge. In reading your list of "offenses," I must admit mine too is rather extensive, and I'm glad God's grace was and is sufficient for me too. I'm ANTicipating celebrating more and hearing more of your good reports...Thanks!

  1. Anthony says:

    Thx T! I've been blessed enough to finally be able to keep it real! Love ya!

  1. Anonymous says:

    I am William Crossland and am one of your friends on Facebook. I'm not sure if we actually know each other. All I have to say is wow! This is pretty good stuff. Very true too! Everyone has dirty laundry that people around them know nothing about. Yet we rejoice at seeing someone else getting punished for those same indiscretions. The paradox of the human intellect baffles the mind.

  1. Anthony says:

    Thx Will! I agree! It's baffling! I'm just grateful that my stuff wasn't spread all over the news!

  1. Yes!!!! I love it!!! I Just recently started a blog and trying to decide how deep I will go! Lol but I love urs all day

  1. Yes!!!! I love it!!! I Just recently started a blog and trying to decide how deep I will go! Lol but I love urs all day