Does this mean I'm gay???

Posted: Tuesday, October 19, 2010 by Anthony in

I need to preface this post by stating emphatically that I am a heterosexual male. I don't say that to pass judgement on those who are not; I just don't want anyone to be confused by the story I'm about to share. I was a little scared to admit this but last night I went to the mall to help my friend find an outfit. Fellas, before you judge me, please hear me out! I'm grooming her to be a potential candidate for long-term "booship" but she needs a little wardrobe boost to match my swag! So, she graciously asked me to accompany her to NorthLake Mall (I prefer SouthPark) and I reluctantly accepted. Secretly, I was excited for the opportunity to dress a woman in clothes a MAN (me) wants to see her in!

Sometimes I feel dumb that I don't immediately discover what God is teaching me in every day occurrences.  However, I always feel better when I realize I'm dealing with INFINITE wisdom when I ask Him questions. My prayer this week was that He show me the extent of His concern for me and how to get Him to move more quickly on my behalf. 

Back to the mall...

Two seconds after the automatic doors eased shut behind us I felt my frustration level sky rocket as she began to lead me around the mall without knowing EXACTLY what store she was going in. Once she finally picked some stores, she continued her aimless pursuit by just walking haphazardly around the boutique without any hint of order or intent. Every now and then she would grab something, hold it up, and ask my opinion. This saga was NOT what I had in mind when she asked for my help. I thought I would be in complete control of the process and I knew exactly what I wanted to see her in. Finally, she grew weary from not being able to find anything and I could tell she was ready to go. I remarked to her that it seemed like I was more invested in the process than she was. (She got mad) I was determined we weren't leaving that mall without SOMETHING! Once she gave up, something inside me kicked in. I started walking around the store, looking at clothes, and draping them over my arm like I was shopping for myself. Women were giving me the side-eye but somehow I didn't care; I was gonna find her something sexy to wear or else. Eventually, the mall announcer informed us that the mall was closing but I was able to find one item to anchor the vision I had in mind for her. I told her I would come back without her and get the rest of what I had in mind, which I guess means I'm paying for it.

Back to my prayer...

When I woke up this morning I sensed God beginning to answer my prayer. Last night at the mall was as if me and the future boo were role playing. She was me and I was God. He is grooming me for a passionate long-term relationship with Him and immeasurable success in Him. Feeling inadequate, I've solicited His help in an effort to match His swag. I frustrate His plan for my life two seconds after I ask Him for help by "leading" Him around as I walk aimlessly trying to think/feel/work/find my way through life. He just kinda' chills in the background not saying too much while I do my thing. Once I finally pick some stuff (noticed who picked) I grab something, hold it up, and ask His opinion. That is NOT what He had in mind when He agreed to help me! He wants to be in complete control of the process and knows exactly what He wants for me! After I exhaust my resources and grow weary, I give up. Fortunately, He is more invested in the process than I am. When I rest, He kicks in and goes to work to bring His vision for my life to pass. He doesn't allow haters or closed doors to stop Him from accomplishing His mission and He even vows to do it without me and pay for the whole thing while I rest. 

I ANTicipate this being a pivotal week in my life as God solidifies within me how much He is committed to my well-being and promotion. His ego is bruised (for lack of better terms) when I try to do anything for myself that He has vowed to do on my behalf. The harder I work the more He rests; but the harder I rest in Him, the more He works in my favor. This principle is probably a little easier to grasp for those who had great fathers; but I grew up without my dad so I'm still learning how to let God love me the way He wants to. Apparently, there is NO limit to what He'll do for those who LET HIM! This next statement won't mean as much as when you say it to me but, I LOVE YOU JESUS!


  1. Anonymous says:

    Soooo awesome!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Great analogy. I need to put this into practice for real... Thanks man

  1. Anonymous says:

    I just love how you always begin with a questionable title to get our attention, and then after reading you completely blow us away with the analogies and postive message. You have a gift. Good luck on your "booship".... I love that term by the way!

  1. Anthony says:

    @Anonymous1 Praise God!

    @Anonymous2 I think we all can benefit from allowing God to be more active in our lives!

    @Anonymous3 Since it is a gift I can only be humbled by the response. I have NOTHING to do with the blessing He has bestowed. Thanks for the well wishes!