I'm about to CRY!

Posted: Friday, October 1, 2010 by Anthony in

Last night I had a text message fight with some acquaintances that upset me pretty bad. Like most arguments, it begin over something fairly petty but ended up exploding into a heated battle with both sides warring to protect themselves. I was so focused on getting my point across and my questions answered that I didn't realize I was coming across as being disrespectful. However, the light bulb only took a few seconds to come on after I was CUSSED out via a rapid series of text messages that hit my phone like bullets. The words pierced my soul so deeply that my body had a physical reaction. I could feel my heart speeding up and my stomach becoming knotted. Despite my belief that I was "in the right," I immediately apologized. At that point it no longer mattered to me who was right or wrong, it just hurt me to know that I hurt someone else. All I wanted then was peace between us.

I woke up this morning with it still on my mind, yet with a resolve that I would NOT blog about it. I remarked to my friend that, though I didn't receive an apology for the way I was spoken to, I may send flowers to make amends. Of course, that idea sparked one of my numerous epiphanies. That's EXACTLY what God has done in my life.

The funny thing about disagreements is that sometimes no one knows, or is willing to admit, who's right or wrong. They're just fighting because they disagree. I still don't know who was right or wrong last night, but there is NO question in my mind that God was right and I was wrong in our relationship. In contrast to His favor, I've made a rapid series of disrespectful life choices that should have ended our communication. Nevertheless, without receiving an apology, He made THE gesture to make amends (or atone) for the battle between us. At that point it no longer mattered to Him who was right or wrong; all He wanted was peace between us.

Sometimes "perfect" people get upset when imperfect people talk about and claim Jesus as their savior. They'll just have to live mad at me because I don't know anyone else who could have rescued me. I'm so grateful for His sacrifice of being viewed as SIN despite His righteousness so I can be viewed as RIGHTEOUS despite my sin (2 Corinthians 5:21). Likewise, I'm even more appreciative that God didn't wait for my apology, but He mended our relationship before I even realized I was wrong. Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners God showed His love for us by having Christ die in our place.

I ANTicipate crying today as I spend time thinking about how much He loves me!


  1. Natarsha says:

    Because you are completely covered by his Blood, God allows you to see fault in yourself. If more of us did this on a Daily basis Life would be less of a struggle! I admire that you can be so open & honest enough to admit that although hurt you are man enough to see that! Then to be brave enough to verbalize it as well is why although you may have felt under attack, you did the honorable thing & took self out seeing the bigger more vivid picture!!!

    Truly a blessing!!!

  1. Pervis says:

    Reading this Anthony, I beat you there, I am already crying like a little baby...He is really awesome!! "He mended our relationship before I realized I was wrong". Keep being used brother...

  1. JaVonda says:

    I'm humbled and silenced! Stay in that flow brother!

  1. Anthony says:

    Natarsha, I appreciate your recognition of the Blood over my life. It is the premise that allows me to share so freely my faults and shortcomings. Thanks for your encouraging words!

    Pervis, you've OBVIOUSLY experienced His love. We are compelled to share it with as many as we can!

    Thx for that prophetic utterance JaVonda. My intention is to STAY in the flow. Love ya!

  1. Jen says:

    Well, yet again...lol. God has given you such a gift to turn every negative situation into a humbling experience that no one can refute is a message directly from Him. You are blessed and I so regret that I didn't know you better. But I'm learning about you and like I have said before we have so much more in common than I ever thought. Almost like kindred spirits, or at least that's how I feel. Like JaVonda wrote...I too am humbled. Clearly not silenced, but humbled.